Why don't I feel satisfied with life?

Σάντυ Μεσσαροπούλου

Sep 10

5 min read

How to section, meditation for beginners

Everything may look good on the outside.

To have a job, a relationship, a family, friends, a home, activities, goals that have already been achieved.

And yet, I constantly feel: "I'm not really satisfied."

The trap of "when"... determining how satisfied I am with my life

Maybe we are constantly waiting for something more.

Change the job.

To have more money.

To improve our relationship.

To raise children

To tidy up the house.

Let's lose weight.

To obtain something we desire.

Let the holidays come.

One more goal to complete.

And for a while, when one of these things happens, we feel better.

Until very quickly the new becomes normal.

And the next target appears....

"When that happens, then I'll be fine."

When I build my happiness around goals I haven't yet achieved...

The problem is not that we have goals. Goals are important...

The problem begins when life turns into a constant waiting room for us to feel satisfied with our lives.

When the present acquires value only as a means to get somewhere else.

Then we can spend years pursuing a life that we almost never allow ourselves to experience.

Why do we even get used to the things we once really wanted...

The human mind has an extraordinary ability to adapt that helps us evolve.

What seems great today and makes us feel satisfied with life, fills us, after a while becomes part of everyday life.

The new house just becomes “our home.” The job we once dreamed of becomes the job we grumble about on Monday mornings.

A goal that once seemed huge to us, once achieved, gradually loses its emotional intensity.

This adaptation is normal.

But it can also create the illusion that to feel good again we constantly need something more .

Because, there is always something better, because there is always something better, something that will make me happier, more joyful, more "free", more creative, more beautiful, more, more, more...

and there comes the question....

Am I measuring my life by foreign standards?

Are the goals we pursue truly our own? Or are they things we've learned we should want?

We grow up in families, societies, and cultures that convey to us—directly or indirectly—specific images of success.

You need to move forward professionally.

You need to start a family.

You need to earn more.

You have to look good.

You have to be productive.

You have to constantly evolve.

And sometimes we can get really good at building a life that looks right on the outside, without ever asking ourselves: "Is this life really right for me?"

Comparison constantly moves the finish line

In the past, we compared ourselves mainly with people in our immediate environment.

Today we can compare ourselves to millions of people in a matter of minutes.

And without realizing it, the question ceases to be:

"Do I like my life?"

and it becomes:

"Is my life good enough compared to others?"

In a game that is difficult to win.

There will always be someone who seems to have more... to be more...

Our criterion ceases to be us and our gaze learns to be turned outwards, to a world where how satisfied I am with life seems to be an endless hunt for impress.

When the inner judge never lets us reach

When we have learned to be enough for our significant others, even our success will not come soon enough and will be underestimated... The goal is achieved and instead of having room for recognition, the mind moves on to the next one.

“I could do better.” “It’s not enough.” “I should have gone further.” “I haven’t done as much as I should have.”

We are constantly moving forward, but emotionally we always remain behind ourselves.

Satisfaction doesn't mean everything is perfect.

Satisfaction with life doesn't mean I don't want anything to change.

It doesn't mean giving up.

It doesn't mean a lack of ambition.

But to be able to simultaneously recognize what exists today and desire something more for tomorrow.

The difference lies in the point at which the desire begins.

Other:

"I'm not enough until I get it."

and another:

"I'm fine here and I want to explore what else I can create."

In the second case, evolution is not an attempt to fill a permanent inner void. It is a choice.

Maybe the question isn't "what am I missing?"

But what is already in my life that I am not truly experiencing?

When was the last time I was somewhere without thinking about what's next?

When have I enjoyed something without evaluating it?

What moments in my daily life really make me feel alive?

Which things do I do because I want to and which because I think I should?

What would I change in my life if I didn't have to prove anything to anyone?

And perhaps the most difficult question:

If nothing significant changed for the next six months, could I find a way to better inhabit the life I already have?

Satisfaction requires presence

We don't experience life retrospectively. We don't experience it in the future either.

We only experience it at the moment it happens.

Contentment doesn't just come from what we have. It's also about whether we can truly connect with it.

Let's stop for a moment.

Let's observe.

Let's feel.

Let's recognize.

Allowing a good moment to be just a good moment, without immediately demanding the next one.

What if I don't feel anything?

Sometimes lack of satisfaction is not simply a result of comparison or high expectations.

When there is a marked loss of interest or pleasure, emotional numbness, persistent sadness, exhaustion, or significant change in functioning over a long period of time, it is worth investigating further.

Because behind "nothing satisfies me" there can sometimes be mental discomfort that needs different care.